Okay, so let me set the scene: I'm a young male that was convinced to read all 4 Twilight books. I had mixed emotions about the books. The story was okay, but whatshername isn't the best writer. I saw Twilight, and thought it was an okay movie. Of course, nothing like the book, so I went into this movie expecting the same thing. My date thought it would we fun to go to the midnight show at the local place, and naturally I gave in eventually. (Oh the things we'll do for you ladies).
Before I break into my review of the movie, you have to understand the nightmare that became the midnight showing. I had to be up at 8 this morning, so I just wanted it to end so I could go home. The movie ended up cutting out 5 or 6 times. And as if the movie knew, it cut out at pivitol points of the plot. This got a loud groan from all the pre-teens, and a slew of profanity from the middleage moms behind me. We were told the first few times that a projector motor burnt out, and they had to replace it. The last time, the manager brought up the house lights, and told us that there was a fire in the building. It started melting the film, so it had to be pieced back together. It was Inglorious Bastards all over again, just without Hitler having his face blown off. Anyway, we got passes to any movie we wanted, which made the whole night better... At least my $9.50 wasn't spent in vein.
So, for the movie itself. Lets start with the acting. Oh wait, there was no acting going on. Kristen Stewart (Bella) had to be the worst out of them all. Hell, if you've seen in interview with her on tv, you can tell that she has no presence at all. She is so uncomfortable to watch. I ended up spending the majority of the time laughing with my date at just how bad it really was. My favorite bit of acting had to come from Dakota Fanning (Jane), which is funny, since she was only on screen for less then 5 min. I heard a few girls behind me saying how scary she looked... She was pretty bada$$. Other then that, the whole thing felt fake and corny, and it just wasn't worth watching from an acting standpoint.
The plot was alright, but didn't follow the book at all. In fact, the ending was so bad that people thought that the movie had cut out again, and when the credits started, a lot of people boo'd. I knew that it would be nothing like the book, and I was right. I do have a problem with this book and movie, and it deals with the projection of love that we're teaching tweens. Bella jumps off a cliff to get a guys attention. They say over and over that there is no reason to live if their not together. Bella rides off with a biker she met at a bar just to get back at Edward...... Is this what we should be teaching young girls? That you have to do whatever it takes to get a guy? That you have to have a guy to be happy in life? That life isn't worth living without a man in your life? I think not. I think this aspect of the movie bothered me the worst. The book was the same way, but seeing it on the big screen upset me.
There were some pretty graphic sceens that involved people getting their knecks snapped and heads popped off. A person has their face cracked and beat over and over again. It was much more then I expected, though the movie did have a PG-13 rating for the violence. There were shirtless guys throughout (OMG! LOOK AT THOSE ABS!), which was clearly just playing into the target audience. The special effects, meaning the wolves, was terrible... Not a single hint of realism. And really... Vampires don't sparkle. And if they did, it wouldn't look like little rays of sunshine.
This movie was so bad, it made Twilight look like a movie of the year possibility, and Twilight wasn't that good. The jokes were lame, the serious sceens fell flat, and the acting was just terrible overall. I really struggle to find anything good to say about it. Basically, if you read the books like the Bible, or you just enjoy the warm fuzzy feeling between your legs at seeing teenage boys without shirts, you might enjoy the movie. The climax in Italy was really the only interesting part, and it only lasted 10 min.
I guess the best part was I can go see another movie that will actually be worth seeing. Overall, I give it a 2 out of 10, and that's only because I feel bad giving it a 0 or 1. Wait for the rental, and laugh at just how bad it really is.


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