Well first I'd like to say- wooooo! First Geek Drop blog. *stretches fingers* Here we go.

Well I've had lots of time on my hands over the last few days as some of you may know. I've been sick, sick, sick and, up until today, hadn't been outside since Saturday. So, that leaves a person with lots of thinking time. Well, in my case, lots more thinking time, as I'm constantly thinking this, that, or the other thing. So this is one of my thoughts ...

I had this plan. I had this great wonderful plan of moving myself up and away from here for a little while. It was a lovely plan. Full of sunshine and fun. Now, with the job market as unstable as it is, these plans have been put on pause for a bit. And here I am, back in the same office, surrounded by the same people, again...

Now, I probably shouldn't complain ...

There are sooo many out there who have lost their jobs or are worried about them at least. As of now, losing my job has not been a concern at all. I mean, unless I come in here and threaten my bosses life, I don't think my job is going anywhere. My bosses are great that way. They like the staff they have. And it's so very rare for anyone to get fired from here. Yes I know no one is indispensable. But, trust me. You just have to work here to understand. I should feel grateful for this. And, believe me, I am. Thing is ...

... now it's lights out ...

I just can't help but feel like a little light at the end of my tunnel has gone out. I'm not unhappy exactly. I've still got lots here. People and things to figure things out with in all honesty. And I would have definitely missed my family and a few of of my close friends had I left as soon as I was hoping for. But it would have been an adventure. A small discovery all my own, of a place very unlike here. I was looking forward to that. It's exciting to think what you can be in a different place. I don't say 'who' you can be because, for me, I'm always who I am no matter where you put me. But, just what you can become, what you can see and find out about yourself in a different environment. Surrounded by the unknown. I love adventure. This was to be one of the biggest of all.

This is not to say that I have given up all plans of this.

No. But I am trying to figure out a few other things first. I'd be giving up something that's meant a lot to me in the last few years if I leave. I thought it was what I wanted to do. Maybe it still is. Maybe not. I'm still working that out. Although, in the end, I think I may still go for it because, well, giving up a dream would be the worst thing to do of all ... wouldn't it? I think so. Guess it's just going to take me a wee bit longer than I thought is all...or maybe I'll just say- "screw it all" and take my chances and hop on that plane a few months down the line. And just hope for the best ...